Jonas Dengler (Hochschule Hannover)
Periodic Waves
Bronze
The COVID Experience
During the time in quarantine, I had a lot of time to think. I started taking self-portraits as a visual expression of my reflection process. My portraits were taken during the period of isolation, but reflect the year 2020, which has tested me emotionally as never before. I challenged myself on telling my story through moods rather than through concrete actions. I feel as if bad things keep recurring, like every two months. But the good things are also repeated, but they are usually harder to perceive. In my head, the image of periodic waves arose: Waves of good and of bad, which interfere and to which we humans are consistently exposed.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
„...still very early but positive“ she repeated on the phone. She was radiant as I had never seen her before. After the phone call we sat on the couch, she sweated through and I with a beating heart. There were now three of us. Fear, doubt, joy and a very strong feeling of togetherness played Ping-Pong with my state of mind. It was a wonderful time.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
Then came the 29.02.2020, the day that hardly exists. On this day our child left, after nine weeks. It was a painful night, especially for her. We spent six hours in the emergency room. When I walked home alone at half past six, it seemed as if someone had turned on the lights after a film was shown and now there is nothing but reality - just the two of us.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
I slept on the sofa until she was discharged. It was a sad Sunday. The next day she went to her first day of work and I started my fourth semester. It was an unreal Monday.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
At about the same time I read a tiny, one-column article in the newspaper about a new type of virus in Wuhan. For a moment I had the feeling that this could be dangerous, but then I thought that the last fours had passed me without me noticing (what a selfish, privileged thought!).
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
Again about a month later we closed the front door for 10 days - she had slight symptoms. The night before I was sitting in a bar, today I am in quarantine.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
We only noticed the rapid changes via
the internet. It was a strange, isolated
feeling of powerlessness and uninformedness. Zoom became my best friend and worst enemy.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
The time spent together on 63 square meters intensified our relationship. But this situation also ended. The first trip to the supermarket was near. I hardly dared to take a deep breath and was surprised to discover that the world still existed. Many regulations were implemented, people wore masks, kept their distance, plexiglass was everywhere and shopping now took twice as long. Toilet paper was no longer available on the shelves but only at the cash desk on demand and only between eight and nine o‘clock, after that it was sold out.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
After about two months her father had to go to hospital. He had been ill for a longer time, but he did not want to go to the doctor and did not talk about it. The family situation became more tense from week to week. The members of her family are very close, closer than I can imagine.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
I soon realized that he was going to die. Yet I was afraid that it would break her, that it would change her, that it would change us.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
A month later, his funeral was without guests, just her, her sister and her mother. There are three of you now.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
All these things tested us. But none of them were directly in our hands. So we endured it and went on.
Story: Periodic Waves
Periodic Waves
In two months I will turn thirty.