“This is the final chapter of my 33, almost 34-year love story,” Mary Redmond said while her husband, Dwain Dewey lay in KU Medical Center in Kansas City, Mo. Dwain suffers from Alzheimer's disease, and had a stroke at his kitchen table that would land him in the hospital.
Mary acts as Dwain's full-time caretaker, rarely spending any time away from him unless he is with a close friend or at a dementia and Alzheimer's care group. “It’s the people you don’t expect [to help] and people who just don’t help. I want to write an article at some point and the headline will be ‘Alzheimer’s is not contagious’. If you come and visit someone, it’ll just make their day,” Mary said in an interview.
In the final stages, Mary had one ask, “I just want to be his wife again,” explaining she had been his caregiver for so long, for the rest of the time she still had Dwain, she just wanted to be his wife. While in the hospital Mary would dab his neck with his favorite cologne, rub his hands and feet with lotion, chat with Dwain and lay cuddled up next to him in the hospital bed. Mary never let her joyous smile fall from her face in front of Dwain, saving the pain and tears for quiet moments in the hallway and hospital cafeteria.
Dwain passed away with Mary by his side in the quiet morning hours of May 20th at the Kansas City Hospice House. The final pages of Mary’s love story were being written, but her love was unwavering. After the visitation and before the funeral, Mary insisted on bringing Dwain's ashes home with her. She couldn’t bear the thought of him sitting all alone in an empty church.
Mary is now learning to live life on her own again, looking for jobs, attending baseball games with friends, and volunteering when she can.
Mary cuddles with Dwain in his hospital bed. Mary visited and spent the majority of the each day at the hospital with Dwain while he was hospitalized. "I just want to be his wife again," she said, explaining that she has been in the caregiver role for so long that whatever time left she has with Dwain, she wants it to not be as caregiver.