CPOY

Gold: Dear Father

Dear Father redefines the bond between father and son, exploring acceptance through a role reversal. As I painted my father's face, we forged a new understanding. He became the performer, while my queerness, long hair, and piercings became normalized. His exaggerated eyes, hair, and makeup transformed into a familiar reflection, allowing me to step out of my performance.

I photographed my father, a traditional farmer and religious man performing everyday tasks on our Brazilian farm, aiming to recapture childhood memories. Familiar scenes of him tending the farm, riding his motorcycle, or slaughtering a sheep were given new life by his willingness to do so in drag.

This engaged and expressive man, keen to be photographed up close in full makeup, was someone I had never recognized before. The project became a meeting point between photographer and subject, father and son.

Having faced misunderstanding and haunted by the boy who despised himself for being gay, who didn’t become a farmer or engineer, but was labelled ‘golo’ (a family’s dialect homophobic slur), this project directly addresses those who misunderstand and label. ‘Golo’ once taunted me, but now it inspires me to create change. In Dear Father, I have escaped this colloquial tag through an experimental and intimate exploration of our relationship. The project has become a means for my father to demonstrate his acceptance and encouragement, bringing us to communicate our feelings and sending a clear message to extended family and friends in Brazil who labelled me.

Dear Father has become a cherished, microcosmic yet profound message that we are all capable of understanding much more than we realize. My father, riding his motorbike through the farm with the wind flowing through his bouffant hair, is a testament to that on so many levels.

Caption
Slide 1 of 6
Dear Father, it feels like leaving was necessary for me to realise that I needed to return.
November 12, 2023

The image shows a person (the father) wearing drag make-up, and riding a motorcycle on a dirt road that cuts through a field of crops. The rider is wearing a blue striped shirt and has long, wild hair (wig) that blows back as they move forward. In one hand, they hold a bunch of leafy green plants (madioca/cassava), and a bucket hangs from the motorcycle's handlebar. The road is surrounded by neatly planted rows of crops, and the soil is a rich red-brown colour, which contrasts sharply with the greenery of the plants. In the background, there's an old, dilapidated building (chapel) made of brick and concrete. The structure looks abandoned, with cracks in its walls and missing parts of the roof. Beyond the building, rolling hills and more fields stretch into the distance under a clear blue sky, giving the scene a rural and serene atmosphere. The mood suggests a connection to the land, perhaps hinting at themes of return or rediscovery of one's roots. The person on the motorcycle has a calm, determined expression, and the vibrant colours of the landscape and the rider's appearance create a striking visual that feels both personal and symbolic.

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