"I admit to my mother in the early 1970s that the South is a much better place because legal segregation is ended. Earlier, however, I agonize over segregation’s being outlawed. It will be many years before I gain enough strength and understanding to jettison my heritage. Most of my life is given over to trying to fill holes, lacunae, building a new self to fill a void left by the collapse of the one I inherit. In my youth I am cognizant that the ending of the post-civil war order has vast implications for me personally. So many contradictions must remain unresolved in my lifetime."