CPOY

CPOY 76 Interpretive Project Gold: Anatexis

At the age of five, I was sexually abused by an adult. He was a family friend. We were alone in the room when he started touching me between my legs. I was not raped, but that day a catastrophe happened inside me. I started blaming myself. I told my parents about the incident, but they decided it was only in my imagination. It would be unbelievable that a respected person by the family, who had children and had high education could do something indecent with a child. So, he went unpunished. Feelings of fear, shame, and guilt forced me not to talk about that embarrassing topic anymore. Now I decided to recall that experience and to accept my trauma. I use a photo archive, self-portraits, symbols. I set fire to his portraits, poured them with lead, washed them. By destroying his portraits, I got over his presence, the memory of him and his influence on my life. I cried out pressure points and released my anger to be able to let go of the past. It's an ongoing process that is happening still. Thanks to the project, I talked with my mother about what had happened. She admitted her mistake, and I felt much better. One reason for her inaction was the lack of her psychological literacy towards the topic, so she preferred to keep this family secret under lock and key. She encouraged my decision to make this public, saying: "We need to speak up about this, to stop keeping our silence in order to protect parents from their mistakes". According to the WHO, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 13 men had been victims of sexual harassment in their childhood. Roughly one in five children in Europe is subjected to some form of sexual abuse. It is believed that in 70% -85% of cases, the abuser is a close person, whom the child knows and trusts.

Caption
Slide 1 of 11
January 19, 2021

Self-portrait. The rope symbolizes a maze of thoughts and feeling.

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